


while i'm dreaming, i feel you leaving

by ILJIDO



Series: can't you love me now? [1]
Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, F/F, detective moonsun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25678270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILJIDO/pseuds/ILJIDO
Summary: she knows that when morning comes, this night will feel nothing more than a distant dream. a dream where she doesn’t want to wake for the fear of byulyi leaving again.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Series: can't you love me now? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861978
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	while i'm dreaming, i feel you leaving

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted on [aff](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1454510)

a series of desperate knocks wake kim yongsun from her much needed slumber. she had been working back to back shifts because of the mess that her ex-partner has caused over the past few months and whoever is knocking on her door at three in the morning is not helping.

she crawls out from under her duvets and shuffles her way to the front door where the knocking is still ongoing. normally, she'd look through the peephole, but it's 3am and she's too exhausted.

"who the fuck is it?" yongsun growls as she opens the door with a mix of frustration and fatigue running through her body.

the last person she expects to see stands before her, seemingly just as exhausted and broken as her — _moonstar_ , or more personally known as moon byulyi.

their gaze meets and her brain finally reacts.

"you have the audacity to show up now?" yongsun grabs her ex-partner by the collar mercilessly, forgetting her exhaustion momentarily, "do you know how much trouble you've caused?"

byulyi doesn't flinch or fight back, but instead, she lets out a wry scoff, "i do, yong."

“so why are you here?” the older woman shoves her against the wall roughly, preventing her from escaping.

the crooked cop shrugs nonchalantly, she's been through a lot today and now, all she wants is the comfort of yongsun even if it comes in the form of her arrest. "i'm sorry, yong. i'm tired, you can do whatever you want to me." byulyi exhales softly.

the tired detective's grip only tightens in anger, "i could arrest you right now, is that what you want?"

byulyi shrugs with a blank look in her eyes, " _i want to stop doing this …_ "

her anger is telling her to cuff the younger woman and drag her to the station but her love for her friend causes her to waver. perhaps it's due to her fatigue, perhaps she wants to avoid doing this in the middle of the night. but yongsun loosens her grip on byulyi and lets her weariness wash over her.

"there are leftovers in the fridge." yongsun says shortly as she lets her ex-partner go while shuffling back into their once shared apartment.

when she stops feeling the cool breeze of the night and hears the front door click shut, she wonders if they could've avoided falling apart so harshly.

* * *

yongsun tucks herself under the sheets while byulyi shuffles around the apartment. the crooked detective had once lived here and they had once been the best of friends, maybe a little more at times but now it all feels oddly unfamiliar. byulyi takes all of it in, sure, everything still looks the same, but she could see the traces of her are gone. as she began to chase after irene bae, fragments of her began to disappear from yongsun.

_they are strangers all over again, bordering on a thin line between friends and enemies._

meanwhile, yongsun lies in bed and listens as her ex-partner shuffles around her apartment. it used to be comforting but now it feels almost harrowing. she had just let the very woman she'd been chasing into her house and there's a chance she'll disappear at any given moment but it's almost like she's thankful that byulyi is back. granted, she still has a lot of negative emotions tied to her ex-partner but at least she’s still here.

the blank look in byulyi's gaze bothers yongsun and she could only speculate whatever happened has something to do with the velvet or irene bae — _something that could potentially offer vital information._

but it feels wrong to make use of her ex-partner even if they aren’t on good terms, especially when she’s in such a vulnerable state. there were no childish taunts, no threats to the safety of the general public, the person that showed up tonight isn’t the moonstar she’d been chasing, it was just plain old moon byulyi. maybe they could fix things with time, to go back to where they were before, to flit between friends and lovers instead of friends and enemies.

the apartment goes silent and yongsun looks at the clock — 4 am. dread fills her as she thinks of how exhausted she’ll be in the morning, she should probably text wheein to get her an extra cup of coffee. in the short half an hour she’s spent laying in bed, byulyi had taken a shower and reheated some food as the beeping of the microwave suggests. now that the lights are all off, yongsun assumes that the younger woman is finally ready for some rest. and as much as yongsun has developed a burning urge to bring her to justice, she finds herself softening up because of how beaten she looks. it didn't feel like an act or a ploy to regain her trust — byulyi is as tired as she is.

maybe they could go back to where they were before, just for tonight.

* * *

the door to her bedroom creaks open slowly and she could barely make out a figure shuffling into the room with the dim moonlight pouring through the windows. byulyi enters the room in nothing but an old shirt and shorts she'd left behind — one of yongsun’s shirts to be exact, it used to be her favourite till byulyi stole it.

"what?" yongsun sits up instinctively and squints at the younger woman standing at the edge of her bed.

"can i crash?"

"what?"

byulyi shifts her weight from one leg to another, fiddling with her hands as she speaks, "can i sleep with you?"

yongsun grinds her teeth and hesitates momentarily, "you know you have your own room, right? i changed your sheets the week before.”

"i know.”

“so go to sleep, i have an early morning.” the detective responds sharply. their skirmishes over the past few months have left yongsun a little guarded when it comes to moonstar, it’s not going to change just because she showed up on her doorstep like a lost puppy.

_“please, yong, just for tonight?”_ the younger woman clutches the hem of her shirt as her voice cracks a little, pleading for a little respite from the anguish in her heart.

yongsun stares at the girl silently, the audacity of moon byulyi to show up at her door in the middle of the night, asking to share a bed. the whole situation sounds ludicrous and if she told any of her colleagues at work in the morning, she’d probably be interrogated by the chief before being put on indefinite leave.

so why does she find herself scooting a little to the left to make space for byulyi?

the crooked detective doesn’t seem to understand the situation, or rather she didn’t expect yongsun to agree this easily.

“are you getting in?” the tired woman prompts and only then does byulyi crawl into the warmth of her presence.

* * *

sleep doesn’t come easily, how could it when two enemies are lying in the same bed? things should’ve never turned out like this, but a series of bad choices and narrow escapes have led them to this current situation.

byulyi stares up at the ceiling as she feels yongsun shifting and turning away from her, she didn’t mind, this is more kindness than she could’ve hoped for when she made her way here. the guilt weighs heavily on her chest, putting yongsun through the last couple of months was just cruel and selfish.

so before she could stop herself, an apology slips out of her mouth, “i’m sorry, yong. it’s not going to fix things, but i just needed you to know.”

she knows her partner isn’t asleep by the way her shoulders stiffen at her voice, there’s so much they need to talk about but one night isn’t enough. they still stand on opposing sides of the law and byulyi’s heart still lies with the notorious leader of the velvet.

this momentary reprieve from all the fighting and chasing wouldn’t last past daybreak — they both knew it all too well.

“will you ever come back?” the older woman turns to face her once-loyal partner, demanding one simple truth.

_“can i?”_

byulyi’s question is met with an air of silence, how could either of them have an answer to such a question? her fate was sealed when she made the choice to join irene bae on the other side, she turned her back on the very cause she swore to serve, she turned her back on her friends, there’s no coming back from this even if she wants to.

_the end of moonstar could only come with a death or an arrest._

yongsun curls a little closer to the younger woman, slipping her hand into hers and intertwining their fingers gently. byulyi doesn’t fight it, she shuts her eyes and exhales softly as she feels her beloved partner bridging the gap between them by wrapping an arm around her waist. she responds by hugging the older girl a little tighter, clinging onto this physical embodiment of an escape. the warmth and comfort of each other is accompanied by a tinge of bittersweetness, they'd take whatever distraction they can get now.

in the arms of yongsun, byulyi is finally able to drift off into a deep slumber without a care in the world. but for yongsun, even though her eyelids grow heavy, she tries to fight it so she could hold on to byulyi for a little longer. 

she knows that when morning comes, this night will feel nothing more than a distant dream. a dream where she doesn’t want to wake for the fear of byulyi leaving again.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> title came from a line in eyelids by pvris, which i wrote most of this to.  
> not sure if i'll ever turn this into a full fledged moonsun cop au so here's half a thing.  
> also have a moonrene fic in this universe which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438958).
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/lljldo)


End file.
